Prescription Drug Commercials

Ok so I know you’ve seen these ads for these new innovative prescription drugs.  They really crack me up.  
I can see them sitting around in their marketing meeting getting ready for the commercial,

“Ok guys we’ve got this new drug here called Exometriphedricane, obviously no one can say it so let’s just call it Metty.”
(the guys all murmur in agreement)  
“As you guys all know we’ve only got 30 seconds for this spot and 25 seconds of it is going to be listing the possible side effects so we need to distract the viewer by placing our actors who would obviously never suffer from anything remotely close to what this drug fixes in the most amazing setting known to man. For example when we say ‘flaky skin and swelling redness’ let’s show a shot of two people in love resting their heads on each other overlooking a rainbow that is ending in a golden waterfall on a remote island in the Pacific”
(the other guys all cheer)

I’m terrified to ever take anything again for the rest of my life after watching one of those commercials!

Is it just me?

(Warning reading this post may cause shortness of breath, swollen glands, headache, nausea, vomiting, low mobility, dizziness, loss of short-term memory, irregular bleeding from the eyes, ears, nose, mouth and hair follicles, dense odors, hair loss, hair growth, tooth decay, liver failure, kidney failure, aneurism, loose stools, loss of appetite, shallow skin breaking, heart attack, seizures, irregular sleep patterns, narcolepsy, constipation,  dry skin, dry eyes, dry mouth, brittle nails, poor eye sight resulting in blindness, ringing in the ears, various spice cravings, irregular attractions, sudden gas, addiction to caffeine, peeps, shingles, hives, ADD, ADHD, HIV, ringworm, acne, facial deformities, arranged marriages, erratic time travel, multiple canine adoption, genocidal urges, measles, the skids)